On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Hello my rib-scented angel!
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
