I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Porn is love you can see.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
