we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Randomize
