i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
