You made me cry and you don't even care
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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