My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
