if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
