ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Randomize