do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
