none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
