I wish I could teleport
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
