I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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