Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
