Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
