Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
do herpes really smell.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
