You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
