It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
My nipple is on Facebook.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
