Sacagawea was the original milf.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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