Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
