we have officially mastered the walk of shame
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
