Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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