I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
