So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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