please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
