That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
