I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
