Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(770): View more from Georgia

Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.

(404): View more from Georgia

Who isn't?

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(513): View more from Ohio

you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.

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(631): View more from New York

the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama

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(803): View more from South Carolina

When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.

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(812): View more from Indiana

My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.

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(410): View more from Maryland

I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away

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(417): View more from Missouri

He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.

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