You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
they need to just BURY HIM!
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
