I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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