Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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