I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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