I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
