Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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