I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
The Olympian is in my bed
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
