These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
