All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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