i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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