Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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