So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
