Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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