I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
