I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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