This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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