it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
