Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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