somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
