based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
