Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
