How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
