I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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